


dance away your fear of love

by Aphrodite_Ourania



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Trauma, Coming of Age, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Latina Adora (She-Ra), Latina Catra (She-Ra), Multi, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Graduation, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, Summer Romance, This is basically a teen drama tbh, Underage Drinking (In the US), Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:41:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28788141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aphrodite_Ourania/pseuds/Aphrodite_Ourania
Summary: (Title from Aly & AJ's Don't Go Changing)“I live in Bright Moon if you’d like to stay for the summer.” Catra blinked as if it would make her hear any better. “Huh?” “Well, I don’t live in the city proper but yeah. You can come and stay with me this summer if you want.”orCatra is reunited with her birth mother and is invited to spend the summer with her. The very last things she expects is to fall head over heels for the girl next door. Damn those biceps.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 55
Kudos: 165





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know I said my next work was going to be a drabble but I lied. I am a L I A R and that's okay. The drabble will come along though, fear not! 
> 
> This is just the prologue and I don't have an update schedule but I do have an outline. I have no idea how many chapters this will end up being or anything. 
> 
> In this chapter we go a little into Catra's backstory and how she ended up in foster care but it's not a deep dive and while it's not graphic I will issue a CONTENT WARNING for discussions of illegal activities and parental death. It there but like I said, not very graphic. If there is anything triggering that comes up I will issue a warning before the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I said my next work was going to be a drabble but I lied. I am a L I A R and that's okay. The drabble will come along though, fear not!
> 
> This is just the prologue and I don't have an update schedule but I do have an outline. I have no idea how many chapters this will end up being or anything.
> 
> In this chapter we go a little into Catra's backstory and how she ended up in foster care but it's not a deep dive and while it's not graphic I will issue a CONTENT WARNING for discussions of illegal activities and parental death. It there but like I said, not very graphic. If there is anything triggering that comes up I will issue a warning before the chapter.

Her birth certificate. 

She needed to find her fucking birth certificate. There was no way she was about to leave without it. 

Everything else Catra owned or deemed of value was packed away in two little sad duffel bags but she still needed her birth certificate. She had taken her social security card ages ago. For whatever reason it never occurred to her to take anything else at the time. Scorpia was waiting outside in her car, she had to hurry. 

After searching high and low she had finally found Weaver’s safe and got it unlocked. The password was the same as the house security code and the pin number for her debit card. Weaver really needed to change that. Catra took everything she could, all the paper documentation of her existence. She didn’t even bother putting the safe back before stuffing all the papers into one of her bags. She couldn't bring herself to let go of the birth certificate though. She held it close to her chest as she ran out to the car. “Go.” She told Scorpia in a small voice. She should have felt light as air with her newfound freedom but instead she felt heavier than osmium. Just as Scorpia was pulling out and driving down the block Catra saw Weaver’s car pulling in. Catra sunk down in the seat praying the bitter old bitch didn't see her. 

There was nothing she could do now. 

Everything she took from the house belonged to her anyway. 

How sad. Everything she owned and held dear in the word could fit into two fucking duffel bags. That's all she had to show for her miserable existence. 

Scorpia was torn between keeping her eyes on the road and checking if Catra was okay. Her hands didn’t stop shaking even when they were well across town and pulling into Scorpia’s driveway. “You did it Wildcat.” Everything sounded like it was underwater. Catra was focused on the piece of paper on her lap that had fallen from her chest some time during the ride. 

_Cyra D’riluth._

Her mother. 

She had a name, she finally had a name after all these years. 

A name to the face of the woman who had loved her fiercely the first couple years of her life. The woman who held on tight to her, screaming and crying as she was ripped from her arms. She was too little to remember the specifics, to remember the court proceedings, but she’d never forget _that_ day. She remembered the disorienting lights, loud voices and even louder footsteps. It was a puzzle she could never complete. 

“Wildcat?” 

Catra came back from inside of her racing mind. Scorpia’s face was contorted with concern. “My mom’s name is Cyra. We don’t have the same last name.” Was all that she managed to say. Her throat felt so dry and tight, like it was closing up. Catra had better and more detailed memories of her mother than of her father. She supposed that he wasn't as involved or present. She knew that he loved her too but she saw far less of him. She recalled the smell of sulfur and charcoal following him wherever he went, the same freckles she had on her nose and cheeks but more dense, soft fabrics and an even softer voice reading her bedtime stories and calling her _princesa_. 

Not a name, nothing more. She wished that she had more memories. More than likely she was repressing them due to trauma. She couldn't even remember the year or so following the separation from her mother. 

Scorpia, bless her, let Catra sit and absorb information for as long as she needed. For all Catra knew they sat in the car for hours before she spoke. “I want to find her. I _need_ to find her.”

Luckily, there weren’t very many people named Cyra D’riluth. 

Catra didn’t want to get her hopes up and jump straight into meeting the woman in person so their communication started first online and then over the phone. They had even video chatted a few times here and there. As the end of her Senior year grew closer Catra had worked up the courage. 

This was how she found herself sitting and waiting in a diner booth on an unseasonably warm Saturday afternoon in February. 

_Stop bouncing_. She wished her smooth brain actually did what she wanted it to do. 

Cyra wasn’t difficult to spot as she walked in. Her and Catra must have been on the same wavelength as they were dressed almost identically. 

They were both wearing black and red flannel but Catra’s was open and paired with a black crop top and jeans while Cyra had the first two buttons undone and the flannel tucked artfully into her jeans. They both wore slightly beat up white Chucks, Cyra’s being low top and Catra’s being high. Even their hair was similarly in low ponytails! Cyra had a tighter curl pattern and her baby hairs were slicked back while Catra had curtain bangs framing her face. Huh. 

Maybe fashion sense was genetic? 

Cyra sat her purse down on the table before sinking down into the booth across from Catra. Her heart was beating beyond comprehension. What should she say? How could she ask any of the millions of questions rushing through her brain? She took a deep breath before deciding on a tried and true “Hey.” This was the first time she saw the woman who brought her into the world since she was four years old and all she could manage was hey. 

“Hey.” Cyra replied. 

It seemed awkward greetings were genetic too. 

They stared at each other for a while, just taking each other in. 

Catra had already gotten some of her questions answered in their previous conversations like the identity of her father. _Yariel Morales._ That explained her last name. It also explained why her last memory of her mother was so distressing.

* * *

_“I grew up in a shitty neighborhood. You have to understand that, my circumstances.” Cyra gave a warning before she started telling the story. Catra wanted to know all she could about her father and Cyra was willing to open up about it, but she insisted on her need to provide context._

_“It was just me and Dad. Ma left when I was nine and lived out of state with her new family. She hated us, I mean really and truly hated us. I could understand her hating Dad, he knocked her up when she was fifteen but I didn’t do a damn thing wrong to that lady. Since it was just the two of us I had to work too so we could make ends meet. He worked long hours at a factory two towns over but his checks barely got us by. I had been working odd jobs and babysitting for a while but then I had just got my first real and stable job waitressing at a shitty diner. That’s where I met Yariel.” She paused, her voice catching as she said his name. She took a deep breath before continuing._

_“I had just turned seventeen and it was summer time. He walked in and ordered the country fried chicken which was the most fucking disgusting thing on the menu. We had got to talking and then he said that he recognized me from the neighborhood and from school before he dropped out. I knew of him, he had been just a year ahead of me in school and dropped out when I was a Freshman.” She sounded completely smitten, Catra could practically hear the smile in her voice._

_“Yari was the biggest dope boy on the block but he was still a small time dealer, considering. I knew that when we got involved and it didn’t really matter. He wasn’t some fiend or heartless, he was just a guy who happened to sell drugs. He’d buy the neighborhood kids books and toys and buy groceries and pay rent, pay off car notes and hospital bills. He wasn’t flashy or anything. Yari gave back, his heart was so big. I was just a kid back then and completely dazzled by this charming boy with freckles and the most amazing smile. He came and ate that shitty country fried chicken everyday just to see me, he even insisted on walking me home.”_

_“After my dad died I moved in with him. I was too close to being eighteen for the State to put me in foster care and Ma refused to take me in and all of her folks were either dead or in the Dominican Republic. My Dad was an only child and an orphan so I had no one to turn to. We were just friends then but we got closer the longer we lived together. I was nineteen when we stopped dancing around each other and became a couple. Then I got pregnant with you and things got complicated. He started moving more weight, insisting that you needed only the best of everything. But he got sloppy and started drawing attention to himself, and to us by extension. It’s why I didn’t let him put his name on your birth certificate. In my mind if he wasn't your father on paper then nothing could happen to you if shit hit the fan. It didn’t matter though, shit hit the fan regardless and you look just like him. When he realized how hot he was getting he moved us to an apartment in the city with some cash put away in a couple of accounts in case things went sideways. It ended up going worse than sideways.”_

_Catra knew where this was going._

_After finding out her father’s name she had given him a Google search as well, maybe he was out there somewhere too. Except, all the results showed article upon article detailing a federal drug investigation that had a dramatic close. There was no arrest, no perp walk, no publicized trial. There was a high speed chase ending in a shootout. Catra’s heart had beat out of her chest when she’d read it the first time. Maybe it was a different Yariel Morales. She convinced herself that the man she had been reading about wasn't her father. But, the picture of the man at the end of the article had the same freckles as her, the same freckles she remembered. They looked so much alike that Catra did a double take to make sure she wasn't just looking at a picture of herself. The only feature she seemed to get from her mother was her lip shape._

_“You don’t have to keep going.” Catra said. Judging from her labored breathing, Cyra was either crying or trying her best not to. She sniffled on the other line and took a few seconds to respond. “Okay.”_

_The articles mentioned a girlfriend and daughter but never by name. There were pictures of them though with their faces blurred. According to the articles her mother had been arrested and implicated while she was taken and placed into State custody. The last thing she wanted was to hear those words from her mother’s mouth._

_She couldn’t handle it mentally._

* * *

Catra snapped back into the present when the server came and asked what they wanted to drink. “Raspberry tea please.” They both answered. Yet another thing she and her mother had in common, taste in beverages. 

Once the server left Cyra spoke up first. “So how are you doing?” It was so much easier to talk over the phone.

Being face to face somehow made things awkward. “I’m doing good. Finals are coming up though, so I have to start making study guides and all that.” Cyra nodded, her eyes twinkling with what Catra interpreted to be a positive feeling. She rarely, if ever, got looks like that. “Do you know what you want to do after graduation?” The subject of her post secondary plans had never come up in their messages or video chats. Catra was almost scared to voice her plan outloud. Scorpia and Entrapta were the only people who knew her hopes and dreams for the future. 

Would she be disappointed? 

The very last thing Catra wanted was for her mother to leave by choice because she didn’t live up to expectations. “Um, I got a full ride at BMU, I’m studying psychology. I want to be a clinical psychologist.” Instead of disappointment, Cyra seemed to be impressed. “A full ride? Congratulations. You'd be the first to go to college on my side you know.” She was genuinely proud. Catra couldn’t help but to sit up straighter. It was so unusual to be receiving praise rather than scorn. 

After getting their drinks and ordering their food, conversation came easier and had a more natural flow. It was almost like mother and daughter were never separated in the first place. 

“I live in Bright Moon if you’d like to stay for the summer.” Catra blinked as if it would make her hear any better. “Huh?” “Well, I don’t live in the city proper but yeah. You can come and stay with me this summer if you want.” Before Catra’s brain could catch up with her mouth she was saying yes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Catra an Afro Dominican and Puerto Rican girl who didn't grow up speaking Spanish fluently or have a quince thus feeling cultural disconnect and not like a "proper Latina" because I'm projecting? Yes. Is Adora a White Mexican soccer player because my first love was and I'm again, projecting? Also yes. If you loved or hated this let me know in the comments!


	2. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her brain registered that it was not a small horse but a dog, an elegant Great Dane with a rainbow collar specifically. She wasn’t afraid of dogs but she wasn’t exactly pleased with one so massive running up on her, cute little rainbow collar or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter length will be inconsistent throughout, this chapter happens to be on the shorter side. The reason for this is simple; I don't want to beat myself up about making sure every chapter is a certain length, it's better for me mentally and creatively this way. I have several WIPs and don't want to overwhelm myself trying to keep up with an arbitrary word count. 
> 
> CONTENT/ POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: there is brief discussion of child abuse but there is no graphic detail. If you don't want to read it you can skip the paragraph starting with "Scorpia's moms" 
> 
> and without further ado...

Call her corny but Catra always wanted to go on a road trip ever since Scorpia forced her into watching Crossroads at a sleepover. Scorpia argued that as Britney Spears fans they were morally obligated to watch it. Catra knew that the main reason was really because Scorpia had a massive crush on Zoe Saldana. Despite having rose tinted lenses at the tender age of ten, both girls could admit the movie was utter shit. Despite this though Catra wanted nothing more than to go on a cross-country road trip since. It seemed like such a crazy unattainable goal for the longest time. Bright Moon was four hours from Horde City and not clear across the country, but it was as close as she was getting for now.

Cyra had even gone out of her way to make a playlist for the road composed of artists and songs that Catra said that she liked. The conversation they had about music taste was so long ago and such a one off that Catra didn’t think that Cyra even remembered. It was such a sweet and genuine thing to do, Catra had to fight off tears.

The only people who had ever bothered to go out of their way for her in the past were Scorpia, Entrapta and their respective parents. 

Scorpia’s moms insisted on having her stay the night every weekend when they noticed the deep purple finger shaped marks on her wrist when she was Scorpia was helping her study for a spelling test. They did everything in their power to get the police and her case worker involved but Weaver had managed to charm her way out of an investigation and had become more careful about leaving physical evidence. Most of the scars Catra had now were the invisible ones in her brain and on her heart, the ones that would linger longer than the ones littering her body. They helped her plan her escape after she turned eighteen and opened up their home without question. Entrapta’s dads were the ones to show her how to drive, they hired her to work the front desk at their computer store so she could start gaining financial independence. They were the few adults in the world that Catra could trust. The four of them were slow and patient in their care but they _cared._

Having people care about her was strange but she kind of liked it.

Normally Catra would fall asleep in the car but she found Cyra’s company to be too good to miss out on a single second. They talked about everything and nothing all at once. A part of Catra felt like this was just a regularly scheduled mother-daughter drive, like she had never been thrown into the system at all. Another part scolded her for letting her guard down around a stranger. The little girl in her would insist that Cyra wasn’t a stranger and she couldn’t make up for lost time if she closed herself off. Catra didn’t know which part to listen too.

All she knew was that she hadn’t been truly this content in a very long time. There was a warm feeling in her chest during the drive to Bright Moon that spread across her body. Cyra didn’t comment on how overwhelming and undeniably gay Catra’s selection of songs was and she even sang along to a few. She couldn’t help but compare the way Weaver had absolutely lost it when she innocently sang along to Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” on the radio when she was a kid. Back then Catra didn’t know what being a lesbian was, let alone that she was one. All she knew was that she liked the way the song sounded. 

When they pulled up to her neighborhood Catra was in awe. And she thought that Scorpia and Entrapta lived in really nice houses. Then again, Horde City was kind of shithole all over, even the so called "nice" part of town.

The cul-de-sac was pure suburbia but in a comfy way, not the stuffy Stepford Wives way. The lawns were all well-trimmed and taken care of but there was plentiful biodiversity. Every house was unique but they all fit together in a complementary kind of harmony instead of clashing. 

As they unloaded the car, a white blur came running towards them and stopped to sniff Catra down. She jumped back in surprise but stayed still, the fear of being mauled gluing her to the spot. Her brain registered that it was not some sort of wild animal or mythical being but an elegant Great Dane. It was friendly, sniffing her with curiosity and not growling or showing other signs of aggression but she couldn’t help but to scream. She wasn’t afraid of dogs but she wasn’t exactly pleased with one so massive running up on her, cute little rainbow collar or not. Cyra bit back a laugh as she gently pushed the thing’s nose away from her daughter. “Don’t worry. He’s a sweetheart. This is my neighbor’s dog Swift Wind, so named because he’s a bit of an escape artist.” When his name was spoken he sat but his tail wagged in a way that made his whole body wiggle. “I guess he is kind of cute for a slobber bag.” Catra admitted. She was more of a cat person but cute was cute at the end of the day. Cyra scratched behind Swift Wind’s ear and Catra followed suit on the other side. He was enjoying the attention, panting and ramming his head into Catra’s thigh. 

“Swift Wind! You can’t run from bath time forever!” Swift Wind, true to his name shot off into the distance as quick as he had run up in the first place. Catra’s head turned towards the voice that called out to the massive creature and she was met with the most devastatingly beautiful girl she had ever seen. Her smile was big, genuine and bright as she waved to Cyra before tightening her sandy blonde ponytail and sprinting after the dog. Obviously, she wasn’t going to be able to keep pace with a full-grown Great Dane but she wasn’t exactly a slouch. Catra’s feet were firmly planted to the ground and she was caught in the hypnotic spell of sneakers on pavement and swaying blonde hair.

Cyra had a knowing smile as she watched her daughter’s transfixion. She recognized that struck look from a mile away. There weren’t very many things that were as powerful or palpable as teenage infatuation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A part of me almost made Swift Wind a Papillon but I feel like he's better suited as a Great Dane. What do y'all think? 
> 
> I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter! I can't promise an update date but the next chapter will be Catradora's meet-cute proper and it will be in Adora's POV. Until next time!


	3. Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, she’s right. Stacy’s Mom has got it going on.” Mermista nodded approvingly. “Does it matter? Aren’t both of you in relationships? Why are you so thirsty for my neighbor?” “Uh, hello. I literally just sang Stacy’s Mom. Hot MILF beats devoted boyfriend every time.” Glimmer waved her hands erratically. “I got sidetracked but look! Look at the daughter’s wrist!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adora's POV hath arrived! And with it comes Catradora meet-cute! 
> 
> I'm issuing a formal TRIGGER WARNING for homophobic parents and getting kicked out of the house at a young age. This is in in italicized passage and separated by page breaks. There is also a CONTENT WARNING for discussion of underaged (illegal) drug and alcohol consumption. (in the US you have to be 21 to buy and consume both edibles and alcohol) 
> 
> and without further ado...

Adora was thirteen when she came to live with her godmother. 

Mara was more than that, she was her aunt in all but blood. Adora loved it being just the two of them, well them plus Swift Wind. Her entire life, Mara was there. When her parents were both at work Mara would watch her without complaint, she’d pick Adora up from school, let her stay weekends and even parts of the summer when she was older. 

So, her shock wasn’t exactly misplaced when Mara announced their little family would be growing by one. A live-in significant other or another rescue would be one thing but _hospice care_? 

“I’m sorry, _what_?” Adora stopped eating her fruit bowl to check if Mara was just kidding. Mara sighed and picked a strawberry out of her bowl. “Razz has dementia and her family just wants to throw her away when they move. So instead of letting them send her to a home I offered to take her in.” “Oh Mara the Great, collector of unwanted beings. Young, old, four-legged.” Mara laughed and flicked Adora’s nose. “You are so unbelievably corny.” “No, I’d say that I’m Adora-ble.” Mara groaned. “I have never been proven so right so quickly.”

Razz was a sweet if not eccentric old lady that lived two houses down. She always got Mara and Adora mixed up even though they looked nothing alike. But she did make the best pies in the cul-de-sac indisputably. “We just have to take her to appointments, help her with meds. Stuff like that. She doesn’t have any issues with mobility or incontinence and even if she did _I_ would be the one helping out with that.” Mara said, stealing a piece of mango before Adora moved the bowl closer to herself. “Are they at least paying you?” “Damn right I’m getting paid. I was going to offer to do it for free but they’re total dicks!” It was Adora’s turn to laugh. “How could such a lovely lady raise such shit kids?” Mara shrugged.

“Same way _your_ shit parents raised such a lovely kid.” 

Adora paused with a golden kiwi halfway to her mouth. Her parents were something of a sore subject. She could never hate them the way they hated her. She remembered the night that she had come to Mara’s. Rather the night that she got kicked out.

* * *

 _It took all her saved-up allowance meant to buy her a bike to get a taxi all the way to Mara’s._ _Bright Moon was an hour or more out from Crimson depending on the route. She was thirteen, where else would she go? Certainly not to any of her friend’s houses. Their parents would just call hers and it would all become an even bigger mess, plus it was a school night._

_Mara was her madrina, she made a formal promise before her parents and before God to always protect her and ensure her welfare._

_And she did._

_The driver was wary of such a young-looking kid traveling alone with so much cash at night, but he still took the money and didn’t say a word after dropping her off. Adora only had enough time to pack a few changes of clothes and some toiletries as her parents yelled at her to get out._

_It was such a dramatic scene, Adora was convinced that it wasn’t happening to her. Reality sank in as she heard Mara cussing her parents out over the phone as she ate a nondescript TV dinner._

_“No, fuck you. She’s just a goddamn kid and she’s still your daughter regardless. Over my dead body you’ll send her to conversion therapy. Are you fucking insane? Disown? You’re kidding, you have to be kidding. Fine. Let me get custody then. I mean it, sign over your parental rights.” Mara’s rage was quiet yet sharp. She didn’t yell and make a fuss the way her parents had, she sat calmly. Mara was statuesque in a way with her stony face and balled fist. Tears flowed freely from Adora’s eyes and into her mashed potatoes which were now cold in the middle._

_Her parents didn’t want her anymore. She wasn’t dreaming. They didn’t even want her to be their daughter._

_They wanted her gone._

_Adora couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation over her own ugly crying. Mara hung up and clutched her phone with enough force to make her phone case squeak. “I’m going to pick up the rest of your stuff tomorrow.” Mara informed her after calming down as much as she could. She stood up and pulled Adora into her arms, letting her cry until she didn’t have any tears left._

_“I didn’t mean-” “It’s okay. It’s not your fault kiddo.”_

_The inciting incident started off as what was just the new normal in the Castillo household._

_Her parents sat her down and asked about her grades and why she was failing or almost failing most of her classes. “You’re normally so on top of things darling. What’s bothering you? Are boys distracting you?” Her mother put her hand over hers, her voice dripping with concern. Adora started to answer when her father spoke up. “No way. Our Adora’s too smart for boys.” “Evidently she’s not.” Her mother snapped back._

_That stung, the implication that she was stupid._

_She wasn’t stupid, she just couldn’t sit and listen to lecture after lecture all day without her brain melting out of her ears. Adora needed to move. Her whole body would feel lightning charged, energy building and building and not leaving because there was nothing she could do but sit and exist. Her teachers didn’t understand that, her parents didn’t understand that. They would insist she was just being stubborn and lazy. Letting her skip eight grade to Freshman year was a mistake, she wasn’t mature enough. She used to be so smart. Why couldn’t a kid as smart as she was handle the workload?_

_There were so many different theories when they refused the simple truth. Adora wanted to learn, she was smart, she was capable._

_The learning environment was the problem. Not her. In middle school there was more freedom, it wasn’t so rigid. Classes were smaller, her teachers actually cared._

_Grades never mattered until she wasn’t the golden girl or top of the class anymore._

_“I just can’t sit still that long. And I don’t like boys.” Her father looked pleased at her declaration. “See? She is smart. Boys suck mija. They grow up to be men and all men are dogs.” Her mother rolled her eyes. “It’s perfectly healthy and normal to like boys at her age. Don’t say stuff like that, she might end up as one of those lonely, bitter man hating spinsters.” Her mother sounded genuinely offended at the implication._

_The truth was, she did like someone. It just wasn’t a boy._

_There was a girl on the varsity soccer team named Huntara. She was a Senior, so they never crossed paths that often. Adora’s brain would blank out entirely at the flex of her powerful legs as she ran drills. Coach had started to let her sit in on varsity practices, insisting that she was too good for JV. The older girls had all christened her with the nickname Blondie but there was just something about the way Huntara said it._

_A heaviness set in her heart with her next statement. The pit in her stomach should have been warning enough. She should have just left it alone. “I don’t hate boys. Boys are fine. I just don’t like them.” Adora had always liked girls. Maybe not as much as Huntara but all her crushes, barring the occasional fictional character, had been girls. Her parents wouldn’t mind though, right? They were good people, they couldn’t be bigoted. She was their daughter, they would love her no matter what. Right?_

_Her parents froze and looked at her with expressions she had never seen before. Oh no. This was a mistake. She should have kept her mouth shut. “What do you mean, you don’t like boys?” Her mother was curious, leaning forward while her father crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t like boys.” Adora said it again, with more conviction despite every part of her telling her to stop and try to backtrack. “What, do you like girls?” Her father asked, forcing a laugh._

_He was far from amused._

_Adora tried to swallow down the lump in her throat but it was too dry to go down. Her mouth wouldn’t open so she just looked down at her lap. “Adora, look at me when I’m talking to you. Yes or no?” Adora couldn’t lift her head up but her shut down was answer enough for her mother._

_“Oh my God.” She whispered, she sounded like she had just found out a family member died, her hands covering her mouth and her eyes becoming glassy. “Oh my God.” Her father repeated, coming to the same realization. Adora didn’t know she had started crying until she was being told to stop. Suddenly her father was yanking her up by the arm and dragging her up the stairs, her mother a few paces behind them._

_“You’re hurting me!” Adora tried twisting out of his grip. “Hurting you? Think how you’ve hurt this family!”_

_“We’ve worked so hard for you to be one of those dirty...”_

_“_ _Our own daughter…”_

_“_ _How could you be so selfish?”_

_“_ _Why do you hate us?”_

_“Don’t you want to continue our legacy?”_

_“How long have you been sick?”_

_Their voices overlapped and seemingly came from all directions. She couldn’t differentiate who was saying what. Adora twisted her way out her father’s grip and finally got the courage to look them in the eyes._

_They looked like they wanted to spit on her._

_“I’m not sick!” She snapped. Never in her life had she raised her voice at her parents. First time for everything and all that. “I-” She was about to say sorry for yelling but she caught herself, her heart thumped and drummed. She wasn’t sorry. There wasn’t anything to say sorry about. “I’m a lesbian! I’m not sick, I’m a lesbian! That’s not a dirty word or a dirty thing to be and I’m not sick!”_

* * *

The more time that passed without contact from her parents, the less it hurt. It would always hurt but maybe one day she’d work up the courage to go to therapy and it wouldn’t hurt in the same way or at all. Maybe she’d even be able to look them in the eyes and tell them that she forgave them. “You raised me Mara, they just brought me into the world. I gotta go to work.” Adora cleared her throat and stood up. “Don’t forget your sunscreen or you’ll be twins with your birthstone.” Adora sucked her teeth. “I tan, thank you very much.” “After burning and peeling like a little lizard.” Adora stuck out her tongue. “How’s that for a little lizard?” Adora hugged Mara, rocking back and forth. 

“Can you pick up something for dinner on the way home? I don’t want to cook.” Mara asked as she was released from the hug. “Yeah, I’ll get some stuff to make sandwiches.”

After saying a few more goodbyes- because she and Mara could never just say goodbye once and she couldn’t very well forget Swift Wind- she was on her way to work. Adora loved being a lifeguard. Most of her co-workers were also her friends, plus she got free cardio during break. Interacting with the kids was fun and she was going to help teach swim classes this year. Adora was late by her standard but still early. The pool didn’t open until 2PM but staff had to arrive by no later than half past noon.

Since Mermista’s family owned the pool she was always, begrudgingly, the first one there. “Ooh, 12:09. Someone’s late.” She teased as soon as Adora walked in the locker room. “I know, I know. Mara dropped a bombshell. We’re gonna have-” “ADORA CASTILLO!” Adora’s soul left her body as Glimmer yelled for her. She just got to work, and she was already in trouble. “Holy fuck. Do you really have to yell? Literally I’m super hungover right now and _cannot_ deal.” Mermista complained in her monotone. “Yes, Glimmer dearest?” Adora asked sweetly, hoping to placate her. “WHY did I, your bottom bitch-” “Please don’t call yourself that-” Mermista groaned but Glimmer kept going. “Have to find out from INSTAGRAM that the hot lady next door to you is a certified MILF?!” Glimmer screeched, flashing her phone in front of Adora and Mermista’s faces. “Because I don’t cyberstalk my neighbors you weirdo. And please never say ‘certified MILF’ ever again.” Adora begged. 

“No, she’s right. Stacy’s Mom _has_ got it going on.” Mermista nodded approvingly. “Does it matter? Aren’t both of you in relationships? Why are you so thirsty for my neighbor?” “Uh, hello. I literally _just_ sang Stacy’s Mom. Hot MILF beats devoted boyfriend every time.” Glimmer waved her hands erratically. “I got sidetracked but look! Look at the daughter’s wrist!” She zoomed in on what Adora realized was a screenshot. “Get. A. Hobby.” Mermista still squinted at the phone intently despite her judgement. “Whoopty-do. A pride bracelet.” Mermista walked away, probably to stock and check inventory at concessions. “Glimmer, please stop trying to set me up.” Glimmer pouted and pointed insistently to her phone. “I’m probably not even her type.” Adora said as she pushed the phone away. “You’d be so cute together! She literally lives next door!” “She probably already has a girlfriend.” Glimmer pursed her lips but conceded. 

Adora thought that Glimmer would have learned her lesson from trying to set her up with Perfuma. Speaking of… “Good Afternoon!” Perfuma greeted, going to her locker and setting down her bag. “Hey ‘Fuma, do you have any _snacks_ for after shift?” Glimmer asked. Perfuma smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I made that Nerds rope recipe you sent me.” “You are a goddess.” Glimmer hugged Perfuma tightly. Adora shook her head at their antics. She had tried edibles once and once was enough. 

“Hey, I’m having a bonfire on the Solstice. I’ll probably make a proper announcement on break just in case you forget.” Both Glimmer and Adora nodded. “I’ll bring sparking water and sodas!” Glimmer declared. “I can make-” “No.” Perfuma and Glimmer immediately shut her down. Adora was notoriously the worst cook in their friend group. Either she over cooked, under cooked or straight up burned whatever food she touched. She wasn’t even allowed to make instant Ramen in the microwave unsupervised. At least her food was well seasoned and not bland. “Damn, I was going to say a vegan charcuterie board. I’m not _actually_ going to cook.”

* * *

“Who decided to put the good cereal on top? This is extremely homophobic.” A pause. “Homophobic?” “Yeah. Anything that displeases me is automatically homophobic.” Adora didn’t know what to expect when she rounded the corner to the cereal aisle, but it wasn’t Cyra and her daughter struggling to reach the top shelf. Cyra saw her and waved her over. “Hey Adora, do you mind grabbing the Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Apparently, the people that stock need to be fired.” Her daughter rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “The good cereal should be more accessible.” She muttered. Adora gladly reached up and grabbed the cereal in question. “Here you go Miss Cyra.” Adora offered the box with a smile. Cyra handed the box to her daughter and thanked Adora. “Oh! I see one of my clients, watch the cart.” Cyra was off, and if she was anything like Mara was, she’d be no less than five minutes having her conversation.

For the sake of kindness and definitely not for any other reason Adora decided that she should introduce herself. She couldn’t very well just let her stand there alone awkwardly in the cereal aisle. Plus, she should very well be kidnapped. Or, that was her rationalization at least. “Hi, I’m Adora.” She said, extending her hand. Cyra’s daughter took it and gave it a firm shake. “Yeah. You live next door to C- my mom and you have that big ass dog. I’m Catra.” It took every part of Adora’s being to not pass out then and there. 

She never understood what Glimmer meant when she said that voices could be hot until this moment. It was a miracle that she was able to reply considering the short in her brain. “I know this might be weird because we literally just met well, in an official capacity and all. Sorry about Swift Wind, he’s kind of a bastard sometimes. Sorry, rambling. My bad. But my friend is having this bonfire on the Solstice. It’s not a _party_ party. Just music, dancing, food, sometimes we drink but not always. If you’re not busy would you like to come?” Of course she forgot how to speak like a regular human being and went on and on. For a second she thought that Catra would just walk away in disinterest but it seemed as if Lesbian Jesus herself was looking down on Adora with favor. “My social calendar just so happens to be empty.” Catra said with a breathy chuckle. “Awesome! I can uh pick you up and stuff.” Catra nodded, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Sure. We should probably exchange numbers so you can text me the details and all that.” _Exchange numbers!?_

_Adora.exe - Application Error._

_The application was unable to start correctly. Click OK to close the application_.

After a round of rapid blinking Adora recovered. She pulled out her phone and handed it over so Catra could input her number and accepted Catra’s phone to input her own. “I’ll see you around?” Catra voice sounded hopeful as she gave Adora’s phone back. Adora nodded in a way she hoped wasn’t too eager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adora's coming out scene is a little harrowing but is based on my experience coming out to my grandparents. Since I didn't live with them they couldn't kick me out but they did attempt to get me sent to a "prayer retreat" (conversion therapy) Luckily my mom, stepdad and bio dad were really supportive of me and told them to go fuck themselves. My grandmother being the manipulator she is, effectively turned most of the family against us when she couldn't get her way. 
> 
> Having the people you love and trust, the people who raised you actively hate and try to destroy you simply for who you love is sadly a universal experience. Writing it all out in a fictionalized account was immensely therapeutic and I hope that if anyone is planning on coming out to their family that this doesn't discourage them. You deserve unconditional love and support and I hope that you receive it. 
> 
> Next chapter won't be heavy, I promise. Like always I hope that you enjoyed this chapter despite the subject.


	4. an announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not an update, sorry to disappoint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiatus? Hiatus.

Hello lovies. 

You may have noticed that I changed the name of the story, this is simply because my outline changed and I reworked the story in a new direction so the new name had to reflect that change. If you were wondering what happened to "have you seen my face (the look in my eyes)" this is it, just a slight rebrand. 

It is with a heavy heart that I must issue a temporary hiatus for my baby. I have not lost inspiration but I have lost motivation. I have recently lost four family members in relatively quick succession. These last two weeks have been very difficult for myself and my family and filled with grief and death and doing our best to cope. Due to Covid we were unable to hold proper funeral or memorial services making these losses hurt a little more than they would under normal circumstances. So, as it stands I won't be updating for a while more. My hope is that I will be able to update sometime in March but it could very well take until April. 

I thank everyone who has left reviews and kudos and those who have bookmarked and subscribed. I truly appreciate it more than you all will ever know. Please remain patient with me and look forward to future updates. Again, thank you so much for your support I hope that it will continue in the future. I'm posting this update because I simply don't want to leave you all hanging until I did update again. 

Until next time, Aphrodite Ourania. 

**Author's Note:**

> Is Catra an Afro Dominican and Puerto Rican girl who didn't grow up speaking Spanish fluently or have a quince thus feeling cultural disconnect and not like a "proper Latina" because I'm projecting? Yes. 
> 
> Is Adora a White Mexican soccer player because my first love was and I'm again, projecting? Also yes.
> 
> If you loved or hated this let me know in the comments!


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